Review: More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera
September 05, 2017
Title: More Happy Than Not
Author: Adam Silvera
Genres: Young adult, contemporary, romance, science fiction
Published: June 2nd 2015, by Soho Teen
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In his twisty, gritty, profoundly moving debut—called “mandatory reading” by the New York Times—Adam Silvera brings to life a charged, dangerous near-future summer in the Bronx.
In the months after his father's suicide, it's been tough for 16-year-old Aaron Soto to find happiness again--but he's still gunning for it. With the support of his girlfriend Genevieve and his overworked mom, he's slowly remembering what that might feel like. But grief and the smile-shaped scar on his wrist prevent him from forgetting completely.
When Genevieve leaves for a couple of weeks, Aaron spends all his time hanging out with this new guy, Thomas. Aaron's crew notices, and they're not exactly thrilled. But Aaron can't deny the happiness Thomas brings or how Thomas makes him feel safe from himself, despite the tensions their friendship is stirring with his girlfriend and friends. Since Aaron can't stay away from Thomas or turn off his newfound feelings for him, he considers turning to the Leteo Institute's revolutionary memory-alteration procedure to straighten himself out, even if it means forgetting who he truly is.
Why does happiness have to be so hard?
“Sometimes pain is so unmanageable that the idea of spending another day with it seems impossible. Other times pain acts as a compass to help you through the messier tunnels of growing up. But pain can only help you find happiness if you remember it.”
More Happy Than Not was incredible, in a painful, heart wrenching, powerful way. I am full of so many different emotions after finishing it, and I know I won’t forget what this story made me feel for a long time. Adam Silvera painted such a beautifully written realistic and diverse world, facing complex relevant issues from sexuality to mental illness, in a cleverly written plot and despite being a somewhat futuristic concept, it still feels so current and realistic.
The characters Adam Silvera wrote were so easy to get invested in, especially the main character Aaron, and Thomas, and as the story progresses they become so layered that it’s impossible not to become attached to Aaron and feel everything he feels, to root for him, to believe how his story will go and want desperately for the world he lives in to be different. Despite feeling like knowing what will happen to him and his story, it’s in no ways predictable, the story twists and turns and shocks you and grabs inside your chest and rips out your heart – and it’s impossible not to let this happen. It’s so cleverly written and plays so well with emotion, and the concept of memories, guilt and shame, and trauma.
We watch as Aaron, despite everything he thinks about who he is, fall for a boy and find himself. We watch him struggle with his fear, his shame, his desperation that come along with being gay in such a homophobic community. The world he lives in, a world where scientists wipe memories for money, in many cases ‘straightening’ people out, a near-futuristic conversion therapy, so twisted by the multilayered belief that this will make their lives easier, by loved ones ultimately thinking this is for the best, denying who they truly are. The relationships Aaron has are often beautiful but ultimately so so painfully sad. The relationships with his family, the boy he loves, the girl he tries desperately to love, with himself and his sexuality and identity, makes the story so emotional.
"I can't believe I was once that guy who carved a smile into his wrist because he couldn't find happiness, that guy who thought he would find it in death."
Not only is Aaron’s sexuality a huge part of this story, but also his family life, his mental illness, race, and the class differences. The suicide of his father, his own attempted suicide afterwards, and helplessness that Aaron feels play major roles in how he sees the world around him and approaches his relationships and identity. More Happy Than Not portrays mental illness very realistically, as someone with severe mental illnesses myself, I felt Aaron’s character as being easily relatable in this aspect, and how desperately he feels the need to be someone and something he is not, for his own happiness and survival.
In many ways, this novel is so darkly bleak that it feels helpless, however it’s full of touching, heartfelt moments that it’s ultimately an uplifting and powerful story of being able to live to love yourself, despite all you have gone through. It’s complex, funny and realistic characters, it’s love story and the delicate way the story unravels to make you question everything just as it fits together in a way that makes perfect and heart wrenchingly sad sense, all fuels More Happy Than Not to be truly unforgettable.
A quick warning: there are some disturbing scenes and concepts in this novel that may be triggering, including abuse, suicide, and extremely violent homophobia.
Diversity score: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
(All characters of colour, multiple LGBT characters, gay relationships)
My rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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